A Secret Kiss

Listen and watch, my eyes are still here just not right in front of you.
I have been here all along, I wish you to know my dear, this is our life and this is where we start.

Better In Every Way

The ides of the tight are crumbled pieces of paper
and notes of forgotten loves lay strangled on the floor
I suppose I could put a pen in it
But I'm using that pen to write this letter to you
And all the trees bend to the knees to let you pass by
And all the stars in the sky pluck the apples of their own eyes to give to you
But today is another day and maybe today I'll be yours and you'll be mine
Well me? I'm doing fine, but find isn't the best way to live
I have so much to give, but you're so far away, and I guess Mississippi water and johnny cash will have to suit me for now
so today please let me know
If these hands are yours and if you'd have this heart forever
If i was thinking I'd probably put this letter to the breeze
And what I'm trying to say would remain in this crumbling heart
But I can't
And I know that being alive isn' just a cure
for saying goodbye
there's more than saying goodnight
To being alive
So today love sits in the tallest tree and stares at me
With all things daring and vague, I pray that you find me.

Cutting Away With Scissors

a word in a frail hand basket
meant to feather the skies and blacken the hearts of millions
a single boy walking down the street eating black licorice thinking, "the world needs me."
I watch this from the foot of my bed

Not moving and hardly breathing

The words of millions fill my head

I find all of these fears waiting for me in the dead of night

My feet fear the floor and my hands bite the mouth that feeds

Bleeding my poors into tomorrow to feel nothing inside

I'd pay for this day, but I suppose I'm already sold

Iowa

(This is my vision based off Slipknot's album Iowa. The picture is not mine, all credit goes to MEaves at flickr, the last line is from the song Iowa by Slipknot. This is not the final update of this piece, this is a vision that I hope to expand on soon. Take a trip to the depths of your mind, the seat of your nightmares and your dreams. Welcome to Iowa motherfuckers.)

Iowa
Empty screams cascade of the walls around him and fill his soul. (Why can't I breathe.) His voice follows his empty soul, he sees her in his sleep. (I'm wide awake and you're thoughts fill my head, come back with me and we'll make sleep awaken in our dreams). But he's not meant for this place, his dreams are following him again. He walks the streets, letting the pieces of his crumbling mask fall to the ground and be trampled upon. He can't feel and he can't be in this place.
(I'm just a heretic). 8 follow him and scream from the depths of his soul. He starts a band and sets himself on fire, letting his soul burn bright in the dark night, he falls but the band keeps playing, he breaks himself against the stones but the band keeps playing. (I'm all alone, I'm so alone, I'm so alone.) The scene plays out in his head, holding her until the dawn tears him apart and watching his pieces fall to the floor. (You're mine, you're mine, you're mine.)
He walks and the 8 follow him, he walks and they all die, they never stop, they just keep walking down that same road again and again. (I'm dying.) Past the skating rinks and the staring people with the wind screaming the same old song, you can never get out, you're mine, you're mine. Cry to you softly, smell you everywhere, they walk and he falls again and again and they wait by his side until he stands up again. 9 heretics and 9 devils who have breaken down the door of God. 9 heretics and saviors to us all.
He knows she isn't real but he kisses her in his daydreams. (She can't be real, stay away, stay away, keep away). The scene plays over and over again in his head. 9 heretics and the screams of a thousand weary souls. Blood we can't purge and can never understand. The wind rises and falls with the setting sun, and still they walk, their clothes baked to their body, their masks a part of them. They all scream to them, thousands of hurting children, thousands of broken bodies and screaming faces. (What the fuck do yo uwant with us?)
The truth is the road never stops and the journey never ends. The 9 walk, purging the sins of others that they hold deep within the crevices of their heart and soul. They stare and the walk is never over.
He lays on his bed, weary and broken. The 8 scream in the light of his heart. It's all over, he waits to sleep, a waiting that never ends and holds forever by the throat. Some say he took to the railroad tracks that lay dying, killing to the purge the demons of his soul. Some say he never lived, and Iowa died before it left the womb. But he has to live on, for we live, with the hearts of the heretics, and our masks, crumbling and decaying beneath our wounds. I haven't left you yet.

Thoughts of a Canned Jar Let Loose In 100 Degree Heat

I guess i was just too tired to tell
too tired to break all the old men's bones again
break away the day and let the pieces stab you in the back
im not waiting, neither should you
what if i walk away?
Would you call or just let me run away
would you come after me or would i vanish into the midst in the middle of the score
i dont know, i cant answer that question, this is your question
i guess only time will tell, time that is a rotting bell
feed me not my maker run and run until youve passed the finish line
the race is never really over

All Hope Is Gone (An Essay Set To The Album All Hope Is Gone by Slipknot, Written on 6/21/10 by me on a long hard drive)

Turn away. Let me walk away with my scars, bleeding and broken. This world never reserved a place for me, and it will never kneel on bended knee to me. Throw me upon your sharp swords, I can't know what I don't deserve. Look at what we have created. A god infesting piles of trash we call our greatest cities. All revolutions become products, thrown away into the endless piles of green paper. We will burn your cities down.

Outside looking in. Cast down and trampled. I stand awake, in the crowd and yet by the way side. Falling apart and burning the pieces. Like breathing in sulfur.

A boy apart, feeding the monster he has called his own. The walls will crumble against our backs. Our world was yesterday, and today we fill in the cracks of this new disaster. A portrait bleeding, staining the inhabitants of today and cursing the sons of tomorrow. They can't see but Stephen stands within me. The limits of the dead.

Our memories waste away, dying in the crevices of the boy I was yesterday, an eve ago. My scars bleed, never existing and never clotting. Put them away in rusty boxes covered with the same skin you wore for so many years. Dead memories in my heart.

My heart knows no chains. Burn my body and my soul will spit in your face. I shouldn't be smiling but hate is a knot on my joker's mask. Let's pretend that we have nothing left.

We're not ready but we still pretend. Didn't we learn this before? Freedom has changed the world, but in a new misdirection, the plans have changed and I'll follow my own people. We have a choice this time. Disagree and disappear, I'm giving up again.

I feel pain, but I can't stand the thought of feeling anything else. Bite into me, make me believe in the way that I feel. I feel the wind rushing but I don't believe in it, I must have forgotten where I woke up this morning. Suffer with me in my heart and we'll lock ourselves in and throw away the key. Laugh into my bones and fake your love so you can drown me. I can't deny, you were designed for my punishment.

Bleeding through on the long way home. Create, cast away, reuse, becoming an excuse. We live our lives again.

The world won't change, we've bled it to death. Save us, the orphans, eat our seconds and devour time. Can we be stronger this time? We have to save ourselves.

Sorrow fills my eyes. This time I can't stand up. I can't leave this cage. And my rage is a smile and a solitary tear. Run away this time, I can't care. You ripped it all to shreds, you loved this time. Leave me alone, I'll only hurt myself. I'm sold and you're saved, you ran away and left me alone. If you still care then never let me know.

Rage returns and our souls burn. We are yesterday, and our way is of the hopeless. We'll leave this world, we'll leave their hope. We'll end this world, because the only world is our own. This time, our hate is alive and well. This time all hope is gone.

(Note: All words in italics are taken from songs in All Hope is Gone. The quotes are in order of the tracklist)

A Bard Speaks To Himself On A Lonely Corner, Alone Except For The Haunting Memories Of Yesterday He Holds In His Left Hand

Touch
a feeble minded harrier on the flight crossing paths with a blue mockingbird
funny aye? birds mixed up in lines, standing at attention, what funny things?
Sit back and watch and hate how you're mistreated (and know I've been there too)
this voice, such a feeble voice, needing to be heard but falling apart at the thought
fear a chain i use as my middle name, I struggle in finding a middle ground but the only middle ground is my head stuck in the cement
submit and press play, pause, and reverse, stuck in a cycle I call my life
this my life, this mold is fading and I'm sticking to the surface
I can't call this my home
Maybe once, but this no more
a mask, glued and bled with the leeches still attached
I can't be put back together, I can't stop moving for fear of losing another part of me
Frantically I turn and write until my fingers bleed
I turn in circles and forget what exactly I was turning forward
Stop, start, rewind, and start it all over
The cycle is never complete, nothing is complete under the sun
Start again my friend, reach out and touch what you can never have, feel the glass and know that you will never break through what is you
I grow tired at times
Picking my way through vast forests and screaming to the trees just to be herad
But they don't hear me, no one does
They say they do, but they turn deaf ears to my cry
I drop this all into a casket I reserved
Maybe you'll find it before I do, I hope so
This and 15 bucks I own in 3 weeks from yesterday, I hope you understand but my references are pointless
Today is tomorrow, and God is Christlike
So the ladies dance and I watch and feel a weight much like a moving shadow upon the wall
Hope what hope?
Such a word was cast away into the ocean in which i dug my buried grave
So take these words and spit them out
they're here for you to try and to run into the ground
Lord knows, they'll be gone by this time next week.